What Makes Men Violent?

What Makes Men Violent?

When I heard about the last mass shooting in Vegas, I felt physically ill.  If the shooter was a Muslim or anything other than White, the media and politicians would label him as a terrorist.

If the shooter is White, they say that he has mental health issues.

But what has been the common denominator in 88 out of the last 91 shootings?  It is that the shooter is a male.

While most men are not violent, most of the violence is committed by men.   In fact, 90% of homicides are by men.   And it is time that we as a country start to address the underlying causes before more lives are lost!

So what makes men violent?

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My Response to “That Won’t Work”

My Response to “That Won’t Work”

I was couch surfing in Portland, and stayed with *Stella who had in her words, “a very naughty cat. *Frankie was only a year old, had tons of kitten energy, but would regularly stalk her, lash out and scratch the couch.   She told me that Frankie was vengeful and would regularly “get back at her” when she tried to discipline him.

Having taken classes on cat behavior, I had strong doubts about her interpretation of her cat’s behavior.   As an expert on cat behavior, Jackson Galaxy says,

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A Powerful Strategy to Become the Best You

A Powerful Strategy to Become the Best You

As I child I was told early on that I asked too many questions and had too many needs.   My father was constantly angry, and he told me it was my responsibility to not make him so.   So my response was to belittle my needs, and try to be less demanding.

Recently, I found myself in a similar pattern in a project I was working on, where I felt like I was walking on eggshells to fulfill the needs of someone else. I dismissed my own needs in favor of theirs and began getting resentful.

Yet I am a firm believer that we need to stand up for our rights and what we believe in, and that if we stay silent, we will lose our voice and our power.

I realized that I am caught in this conflict of not knowing, when is it OK to speak up, and when is it better to shut up?

I’ve recently noticed the pattern that people with healthier relationships do speak up. They feel more entitled to being treated well than I do, and there is even research to support this.

I was in the midst of pondering this conundrum, when I showed up for my yoga class. The teacher talked about setting an intention for our practice, but said that to face our current times, we need something deeper, something more long lasting, we need to concept of the sankalpa.

What is the sankalpa?

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Five Mindset Shifts To Go With The Flow

Five Mindset Shifts To Go With The Flow

I was taught early in life that hard work was the key to success. If we didn’t get a perfect report card, we were told that it was because we weren’t working hard enough. Because I had a learning disability and didn’t get the support I needed, I learned that I’d have to struggle to get what I wanted.

So that set me on the early course of constantly striving to be better, subconsciously hoping that I could some day gain the acceptance I so desperately craved.

While I now work hard for other reasons, I still find that the harder I push myself, the less tolerant I become when things don’t go my way.

So people who are ambitious and work hard, but are also to go with the flow really Peter and Ireneimpress me.   My friend Peter Feysa is a great example of this.   We took a badly needed break and went hiking and swimming in the alpine lakes.   Every time he set out to swim, my friend’s dog Irene felt the need to herd him in.  He took it well, and even seemed to be enjoying it, even though she would circle him and  get in the way.   After several laps, I noticed he had scratches all over his back from Irene, but he never mentioned it until I brought it up.   When I did, he shrugged them off!  I know I wouldn’t have taken it that well!

So how do people like Peter balance the stress and still so gracefully handle all the bumps along the way?

Here are some mindset shifts that help such people go with the flow:

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How Releasing Subconscious Barriers Changes the Brain

How Releasing Subconscious Barriers Changes the Brain

I call myself a Holistic Healer for a Happy & Healthy Brain, and yet I release subconscious barriers.   So how does releasing subconscious barriers change the brain?

While I can’t provide decisive evidence about how it changes the brain, I can conjecture a theory based on current findings in neuroscience.

We know, thanks to the discoveries of neuroplasticity, that our brains are constantly evolving, and that habit changes rewire the brain.

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The Power of Believing You can Improve

The Power of Believing You can Improve

People are too willing to give up on me.

As a child, I remember a teacher who told me I shouldn’t be in a dance performance that I wanted to participate in.   In graduate school, I was encouraged by more than one teacher to drop out. They thought that because I struggled in the classes, that I didn’t have what it takes to get my Ph.D. I’ve been fired from jobs, and people who’s friendships really mattered to me, stopped returning my calls.

As painful as these rejections have been, I’ve always strived to learn from them.   While my heart has been broken too many times, and much of that grief set me back for a long time, there’s been an important part of me that has been determined to learn the lesson from the experience, and resolve to do better in the future.

And I have.   With my determination and the discovery of powerful techniques like the Emotion Code, the Body Code and EFT, I’m reaching goals that I couldn’t even envision in the past because they seemed so far away from possible.

So why have others been so willing to give up on me even when I haven’t?

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