How to Get Younger With Age

How to Get Younger With Age

My feline fur baby Tuk Tuk just turned 15.  One and a half years ago, she developed horrible leg cramps that seemed to strike randomly.   She’d scream with fear, and then struggle to walk.   I realized that by massaging her back legs, I could get the blood flowing again, and she’d be back on her feet as if nothing had happened.  I was very concerned.

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The Easiest Way to Stop Negative Self-Talk for Good!

The Easiest Way to Stop Negative Self-Talk for Good!

My client walked into my office on guard. She was stiff and seemed unable to relax.  While she had a pleasant demeanor, she really seemed to struggle with being at ease in her own skin.  In short, she reminded me of me just a few years ago.

How the negative self-talk began

I learned that she had a narcissistic father who was very controlling and critical.  With him she felt like she was always under a microscope, and that with every move she would make, she could be judged harshly.   I knew exactly what that felt like.   It is suffocating!   That kind of treatment left us both with generalized anxiety, self-contempt and constant self-criticism.   We both were constantly on guard.  We struggled with knowing who to trust, and often felt defensive.  For both of us, making decisions was fraught with anxiety.   We would always be second-guessing ourselves, and overly concerned about getting things right.   For her, the self-criticism and questioning her judgment continued long after her decisions were made!

The powerful effects of releasing negative self-talk

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You Are Not Your Diagnosis

You Are Not Your Diagnosis

I had a client who regularly reminded me of her diagnoses to justify her behaviors and struggles.  “I have bipolar disorder, and therefore I… “ ,  “I have autism, and therefore I…. “.   I’ve heard other mental health professionals rail against giving people diagnoses.  They’ve argued that it isn’t helpful, because labeling people, makes them feel limited by their diagnosis.

I told my client:   You are not your diagnosis!

I remember how relieved I was when

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Why It is So Important to Take the Time to Just Be

Why It is So Important to Take the Time to Just Be

My friend practices Vipassana meditation and is off to a meditation retreat this weekend.  He invited me to go, but I still have a lot of unpacking to do, and I don’t feel like I can get away for a whole weekend.

This conflict remind me of the conflict between being vs. doing.

I used to be hyper focused on doing.  My list of things to do has always been longer than I have had time to complete.   But because I didn’t take the time to renew, I wasn’t enjoying life, and I wasn’t very productive while working.

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A Most Unusual Underlying Cause of Disorganization

A Most Unusual Underlying Cause of Disorganization

My client was a successful professional organizer.  I had known her for years, and she had taken a leadership role in an organization that we were both a part of.  She had played a key role in making it run smoothly   So I was surprised to see that on the day of her appointment, she called to cancel because she had double booked her appointments.  She rescheduled, and again she had to reshuffle things, but this time she made seeing me a priority.  This was not the organized professional I knew her to be!

In her session, I asked about what was going on, and why she was struggling with organizing, and she confessed to feeling particularly scatterbrained lately.  She said she had really been struggling to keep her calendar straight over the last few weeks, and that it was interfering with her ability to do her job.   As an organizer, she said that she was in her words, “a mess” and very embarrassed about it.

We had to make addressing this a priority. 

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The Unbelievable Effects of Developing Resilience

The Unbelievable Effects of Developing Resilience

So far, 2018 has dealt me with one punch in the gut after another. It began with the end of my relationship with my boyfriend who I was crazy about.  It has been full of problems with housemates, stress from a law from the EU that could destroy my business, friendships falling apart, stress from more work that I could handle, loneliness, and despair about having to move out of my beloved home.

I was feeling beaten up, run down, hopeless and quite depressed.  I was feeling like a victim to life.  In the midst of all this happening, I developed a giant and painful cyst on my back that needed regular attending to, but was extremely hard to reach.   The recommendations from my naturopath were helping, but the progress was far too slow, and I was having to consider surgical removal.

In trying to address the cyst, I discovered the metaphysical underpinnings.  The questions I got were, “What will it take to stop feeling sorry for myself?  And “What will it take to accept my life as a learning experience and look forward with hope?”

“Wow! “ I thought.. “how timely!”

In pondering these questions, I realized that I need to do a better job of bouncing back!  I needed to release barriers to building resilience.

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