We can’t be healthy alone

In America, we frame our ability to succeed in terms of our own skills and hard work. We are typically incentivized to win, to become that next big star, to reach that next milestone, or to become famous.

This constant competitiveness creates an us vs. them mentality. It has made us reward and idolize those that have made it, and neglect those that struggle.

And for those who have made it, well, it’s been great for them. But meanwhile more and more of us are living paycheck to paycheck. More and more of us are facing homelessness. More and more of us are becoming depressed, addicted and suicidal.

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Changing Minds and the BackFire Effect

I Couldn’t Believe!

I remember a few years ago when talking to a chiropractor, he told me about John of God from Brazil.  John of God is a healer who channels many spirit guides to commit a huge range of medical miracles.  The chiropractor told me that John of God attracts thousands of people from all over the world.  He told me about the experience, how he had to wait in long lines to see him.  He described the “visible operation” he had chosen, and told me that he had been cured.   The story seemed so beyond my belief system that I developed an unfavorable view of this chiropractor.   I was so uncomfortable with the story that I wanted to roll my eyes and run away.   I kept my distance from him (for other reasons as well) after that.

This isn’t the only time I’ve run from information presented to me.  I rolled my eyes at the Law of Attraction for years!  And when someone told me in the early 90’s that physicians had done a hemispherectomy on a child, and that it wasn’t expected to result in serious consequences, again, I rolled my eyes, and decided that he was rather naive.

I’m not the only one that runs from information that falls outside of their belief systems!

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The Power of Addressing the Metaphysical Causes

My new client came to me with a list of concerns he wanted to address. As I customarily do, I ask if he’d like to me to ask his subconscious where to start. He agreed, and when I did, I got that we needed to address pain, which was not on his list! When I asked him about it, he said, oh yes, with my MS (multiple sclerosis), I have regular back, neck and shoulder pain.  His lower back pain could be so bad that sometimes he couldn’t get out of bed for over 10 minutes! He rated the pain as a 8.5/10! When I asked him when he hadn’t put it on his list, he said, that it has become such a normal part of his life, that he had just accepted it as a part of who he had become!

He agreed to let me proceed, and as I often find with clients with autoimmune conditions, there was a metaphysical question underlying the pain that needed to be addressed.

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The Easiest Way to Stop Negative Self-Talk for Good!

My client walked into my office on guard. She was stiff and seemed unable to relax.  While she had a pleasant demeanor, she really seemed to struggle with being at ease in her own skin.  In short, she reminded me of me just a few years ago.

How the negative self-talk began

I learned that she had a narcissistic father who was very controlling and critical.  With him she felt like she was always under a microscope, and that with every move she would make, she could be judged harshly.   I knew exactly what that felt like.   It is suffocating!   That kind of treatment left us both with generalized anxiety, self-contempt and constant self-criticism.   We both were constantly on guard.  We struggled with knowing who to trust, and often felt defensive.  For both of us, making decisions was fraught with anxiety.   We would always be second-guessing ourselves, and overly concerned about getting things right.   For her, the self-criticism and questioning her judgment continued long after her decisions were made!

The powerful effects of releasing negative self-talk

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You Are Not Your Diagnosis

I had a client who regularly reminded me of her diagnoses to justify her behaviors and struggles.  “I have bipolar disorder, and therefore I… “ ,  “I have autism, and therefore I…. “.   I’ve heard other mental health professionals rail against giving people diagnoses.  They’ve argued that it isn’t helpful, because labeling people, makes them feel limited by their diagnosis.

I told my client:   You are not your diagnosis!

I remember how relieved I was when

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The Unbelievable Effects of Developing Resilience

So far, 2018 has dealt me with one punch in the gut after another. It began with the end of my relationship with my boyfriend who I was crazy about.  It has been full of problems with housemates, stress from a law from the EU that could destroy my business, friendships falling apart, stress from more work that I could handle, loneliness, and despair about having to move out of my beloved home.

I was feeling beaten up, run down, hopeless and quite depressed.  I was feeling like a victim to life.  In the midst of all this happening, I developed a giant and painful cyst on my back that needed regular attending to, but was extremely hard to reach.   The recommendations from my naturopath were helping, but the progress was far too slow, and I was having to consider surgical removal.

In trying to address the cyst, I discovered the metaphysical underpinnings.  The questions I got were, “What will it take to stop feeling sorry for myself?  And “What will it take to accept my life as a learning experience and look forward with hope?”

“Wow! “ I thought.. “how timely!”

In pondering these questions, I realized that I need to do a better job of bouncing back!  I needed to release barriers to building resilience.

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