As I child I was told early on that I asked too many questions and had too many needs. My father was constantly angry, and he told me it was my responsibility to not make him so. So my response was to belittle my needs, and try to be less demanding.
Recently, I found myself in a similar pattern in a project I was working on, where I felt like I was walking on eggshells to fulfill the needs of someone else. I dismissed my own needs in favor of theirs and began getting resentful.
Yet I am a firm believer that we need to stand up for our rights and what we believe in, and that if we stay silent, we will lose our voice and our power.
I realized that I am caught in this conflict of not knowing, when is it OK to speak up, and when is it better to shut up?
I’ve recently noticed the pattern that people with healthier relationships do speak up. They feel more entitled to being treated well than I do, and there is even research to support this.
I was in the midst of pondering this conundrum, when I showed up for my yoga class. The teacher talked about setting an intention for our practice, but said that to face our current times, we need something deeper, something more long lasting, we need to concept of the sankalpa.
What is the sankalpa?Read More
I call myself a Holistic Healer for a Happy & Healthy Brain, and yet I release subconscious barriers. So how does releasing subconscious barriers change the brain?
While I can’t provide decisive evidence about how it changes the brain, I can conjecture a theory based on current findings in neuroscience.
We know, thanks to the discoveries of neuroplasticity, that our brains are constantly evolving, and that habit changes rewire the brain.Read More
Last week, I submitted a comment on a blog, and got back the wrath of what I like to call an “angry man-child”. This person insulted me and everything that I said, and it was clear that he was ready to pick a fight. I felt myself getting defensive, and I started to think how I’d retaliate. But I quickly realized that my emotions were getting in the way of me. I decided that I’d try to call him out on his behavior by labeling it, and then I tried to respectfully use reason to argue my point.
I had hoped that I would increase his awareness of how he came across, but he came back with more vehement insults and lambasted me for not addressing his points.
I knew that he was an angry man-child, and that he was trying to defend an ego that someone in his past had insulted. But I still wanted to find a way to silence him. I wanted him to realize he was spreading anger and hatred that only hurt people and himself.
I couldn’t seem to let the issue go!Read More
I have always been interested in the question of what inspires people to be their best. Why do some people have a tendency towards violence or addiction or cruelty? Why are there people that only seem to care about themselves? And what makes someone spend their entire life dedicated to serving others?
America is a punitive society and has grown increasingly more so in my lifetime. Our prison population has had about a 8.5x increase since 1980! We have the 2nd highest per-capita incarceration rates in the world. Most prisoners are not violent when they go into prison, and are at higher risk for deviant behavior when they leave.
Parents and teachers also struggle these days with difficult children who are disrespectful , argumentative or uncooperative. The default approach stems from the belief that punishment is a deterrent.
But is punishment really an effective deterrent?Read More
Have you noticed that some people radiate sexiness, smarts or a fun energy? While others might radiate pathetic, depressed or a more geeky energy?
It turns out we have messages that we often subconsciously broadcast to the universe, or even to ourselves, and much of it underlies how we act and present ourselves to the world.