Are you neurotic, narcissist or neurotypical?

Regardless of how hurtful people can be, if we are in a relationship with them, we tend to assume that they share our similar values. But this isn’t always true. And this common assumption can get us in a lot of trouble, especially with narcissists.

While there are others that think like us (to some degree), these days, we regularly encounter people who shock us.  We find ourselves saying, “How could they say (or do) such a thing?”  “Doesn’t he/she care about my feelings?” And if we love the person, we might find ourselves making excuses for a person who has hurt us because we want so desperately to hold onto our original view of the person we fell in love with in the first place.

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Forgive But Don’t Forget

I think the pressure to turn the other cheek (forgive) is damaging.

Why?

Yes.. Jesus turned the other cheek.

But Jesus wasn’t an abused wife of a narcissist who had been lying to her for decades about his infidelity or whereabouts.

Jesus didn’t have drug addicted or sociopathic parents, that chronically abused him.

Jesus didn’t grow up in a Romanian orphanage without loving touch, adequate food, with barely any stimulation.

And Jesus wasn’t a woman.

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Ghosts that Interfere with Healing

I was searching for effective means to address psychosis, and talking to a colleague (an M.D.), who shares my passion for integrative healing modalities.   I asked him if he’d heard about effective approaches to address psychosis, and he pointed me to Dr. Barbara Stone and Robert W. Alcorn, MD who straddle the world between western medicine, shamanic healing and energy medicine.

Earthbound Spirit Attachments:  aka ghosts

On their website, souldetective.net, I was guided to learn about earthbound spirit attachments (aka ghosts).   I learned that they are beings that aren’t able to pass on to another dimension for a variety of reasons.   Often they are confused and don’t know they are dead. Sometimes they don’t want to leave because they are attached to things on earth.  Some are afraid of having to face what they’ve done on earth, and some have unfinished business.

I learned that there is a device called the Luminator that helps people see these entities with Polaroid photographs.

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Can a Narcissist Change?

My client Betty is always positive, kind and good-natured.  She asked me to work on some physical discomfort she was having.  But I always ask if I can check in with the subconscious to make sure there isn’t anything more important to address.   She agreed, and I discovered there was an issue at work that was causing a lot of stress.

Her coworker was harassing her.

Betty then revealed to me that a coworker was regularly coming to her cubicle to criticize or make negative comments about her work.   This coworker was also frequently making complaints about her to management.   She felt like she was walking on eggshells with this coworker.  The situation was so stressful, that she was even considering quitting, even though she loved her job otherwise!

She already had a reputation for being difficult.

Before Betty had arrived at this job just a few months ago, this coworker had already had a reputation for being difficult to work with.   Apparently several other coworkers had asked management for a reassignment from working with this woman, because she was known to be so critical!

Was she dealing with a narcissist?

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The Biggest Reason Why You Must Leave Abusive Relationships

While we all know that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be abused, leaving an abusive relationship is not always an easy choice.

Why it is so hard to leave

Sometimes, the relationship is with someone you still love.  Maybe staying with this situation means financial stability, or a lifestyle that you’ve become accustomed to.   Maybe you have children that you don’t feel like you can support on your own.  Or maybe you just can’t imagine a happy life beyond the confines of your current reality.

I know what it feels like to be in abusive relationships.  I lived with 2

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Why People are Cruel

I used to keep abreast of the news, but I find that I no longer can. Why? Because the news is barraged with reports of things cruel people said, cruel people did or cruel new laws that were passed, and I’m finding it too distressing to follow closely.

Similarly, I’ve noticed in my personal life and as a Holistic Brain Health practitioner, cruelty seems to be on the rise.

I was thinking this as I discovered the latest issue of Psychology Today, where the featured article discussed the rise of toxic behavior. According to the global communications firm Weber Shandwick, a record number of Americans (69% ) believe that American has a civility problem.   It was 65% is 2010.

So what is causing the increase in cruelty?

According to the research by Weber Shandwick, most people blame politicians and social media.   As I wrote in my article Why We Lack Control Over Our Thoughts, our environment and what we are exposed to has a profound influence on what we think. If we have any tendency to be cruel, the cruelty we see regularly in the news, in our social media and entertainment gives us unconscious permission to do the same.   We are not immune from our environment. If we were, politicians and advertisers wouldn’t spend as much as they do trying to influence us.

That being said, we don’t all respond to watching cruelty in the same way.

Interestingly, in a study published in 2014, researchers showed that watching violence activates the brains differently in aggressive people than calm people. Aggressive people had reduced activity in the decision making part of their brain (the orbitofrontal cortex), and more activity in the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala).   They also showed a rise in blood pressure.

So if aggressive people respond differently to watching violence than calm people, what makes people unkind in the first place?

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