For a Satisfying Relationship, Ask Yourself:

It is the season of love.  And yet as a person that has been trying to ignore Valentine’s day for most of my life, I know this can be a difficult time for singles.

But by using the Body Code & releasing my heart wall, I’ve been steadily releasing my barriers to love and a healthy relationship, and for the first time in my life, I am celebrating Valentine’s day with a man that makes my heart sing!

The process of going from no love to love, or unsatisfying to satisfying relationships hasn’t been easy.  I’ve had my share of bumps in the road!   But I’ve learned some important lessons & wisdom along the way that I think will help you not only find love (romantically or platonically), but find deeply satisfying relationships as well!

The most important thing we need to do is to believe that we are worthy of love and the kind of relationship we really want.  If you don’t feel completely deserving, or if the idea makes you frustrated, this means that you need to do some more inner work to have the kind of relationship you desire.   There maybe feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness and helplessness, feelings of self hate, and belief systems that aren’t serving you, or maybe even sabotage.  If so, contact me, and lets get your head aligned for love!

For awhile, I thought I did love myself.  I had rid myself of self-hate and regularly had thoughts of how much I loved myself (believe me, this was a wonderful change for me!).  But I hadn’t put boundaries on what I was or wasn’t willing to put up with.  So when I met a man who I thought was my soul mate, and he didn’t treat me well, I internalized that as my lack of lovability (thanks to old patterns), rather than his limitation.   So I had more work to do.   I had to release barriers that allowed me to let others influence my love worthiness!

I also had to let go of expectation that if I met a sole mate, he would be able to satisfy my needs.   I’d met my sole mate, and I was miserable in that relationship.  So I needed to reestablish my criteria for the most important qualities in a partner.

Once I did, I pledged to date a lot, to be open to men who I liked, but didn’t necessarily feel glued to on the first date.   I promised myself that I’d only let myself get emotionally involved with a man that could meet my needs, and that would take time to determine.  These are a few of the questions I asked myself to determine compatibility:

1.)  When planning things (whether it’s a date or rearranging the living room), would he rather make decisions alone or as a couple?

If its important for you to think of you and your significant couple as “we”, and you believe important decisions should be made by both of you, you probably won’t get your needs met if your partner is more comfortable “just getting things done” regardless of your opinion.

2.)  How much are they willing to prioritize the relationship?

If you are willing to do what it takes to keep the relationship going, and your partner is not, then that is a recipe for a dissatisfying relationship.   I had a habit of attracting men that were not fully committed – thank goodness I released that pattern!

3.)  Is this person capable of giving me the support I need?

Personally, its important to me to be with someone who understands my passion for my work at LifeLong EnerJoy.  They have to be willing to see what I do with an open mind and support me in my journey to help others!   He also has to willing to support me emotionally.  What kind of support do you expect from your partner?

4.)  Do we share similar values in how we treat people and the world?

I place high value in service to others and our environment.  Personally I couldn’t be involved with anyone who’s mission was solely about making money.   It was important for me to find someone who shared my compassion and desire to see our leadership serve the needs of its people.  And importantly, how he treats me and other people that he interacts with, is very important to me!

5.)  Is he willing to be sensitive to my needs and express his own?

None of us are perfect.  We all have things that trigger us, and part of getting to know each other is learning about what each other’s needs are.  Sometimes as a part of that, we might begin to cross some lines.   Be wiling to invite authentic communication about feelings and needs, and look for a person who is willing to do the same!  The payoff is tremendous!

I realize you may have different minimum criteria for your healthy relationship.   What are your deal-breakers?   If you establish them before entering a relationship, if you are aligned for love, and if you are willing to invest the time and effort to finding the right person, I believe you will have a richer, deeper and more satisfying relationship!

If you want support in aligning yourself for love, check out my interview on the heart wall, and contact me 1855 ENEROY for a free 1 hr consultation!

What are your deal breakers for relationships?  Please comment below!