How to Have a Better Relationship

My client Rachel came to me consumed by anger with her ex. She said that he just knew how to get under her skin. She felt like he could reach from the depths of her soul and tear her heart out.   She had believed that he was her soul mate. But she couldn’t get over the story that severed their relationship years ago:  when she had felt like he had purposely tried to undermine her career.

When couples don’t get along

When clients come to me because a relationship isn’t working, sometimes they are full of blame. Other times, they feel guilty because they get angry and frustrated too easily, and they end up regretting their actions.   Sometimes they aren’t clear on why they aren’t getting along, but they know that they still want to try to find a way to have a better relationship with their partner.

Why can’t we just get along?

Read More

How to Deal With Bullies, Trolls and Haters

Last week, I submitted a comment on a blog, and got back the wrath of what I like to call an “angry man-child”.   This person insulted me and everything that I said, and it was clear that he was ready to pick a fight.   I felt myself getting defensive, and I started to think how I’d retaliate.   But I quickly realized that my emotions were getting in the way of me. I decided that I’d try to call him out on his behavior by labeling it, and then I tried to respectfully use reason to argue my point.

I had hoped that I would increase his awareness of how he came across, but he came back with more vehement insults and lambasted me for not addressing his points.

I knew that he was an angry man-child, and that he was trying to defend an ego that someone in his past had insulted.   But I still wanted to find a way to silence him. I wanted him to realize he was spreading anger and hatred that only hurt people and himself.

I couldn’t seem to let the issue go!

Read More