Why we Get Too Angry or Emotional

Susan is an artist, but found when preparing for an art fair, that she regularly would go into a panicked state. She found putting up the tent, having everything ready to go, and coordinating with her sister challenging every time. She would regularly find herself sobbing if things did not go as planned, or getting into bitter arguments with her sister over things that were not worth arguing over.

Susan is very rational person. She knew that in those moments she wasn’t acting rationally, yet she couldn’t seem to control herself when she needed to focus on the task at hand.

Why couldn’t she control her behavior?

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When You Don’t Fit In

For most of my life, I didn’t feel like I fit in.

To start, I didn’t look like anyone else.   As a Eurasian in the 70’s, I was a pretty rare breed.   I don’t remember meeting anyone else who was Eurasian in the US until I got into high school!

I also wasn’t good at making friends, and then we moved to Hong Kong, and my parents put my sister and I in a Chinese speaking school.   We only spoke English at the time.

These early life experiences set me up to feel like an outsider for the rest of my life.

For most of my life, I felt rejected, unloved, and unacceptable.

I still don’t fit in, but my attitude towards not fitting in has shifted 180 degrees. 

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Avoiding a Difficult Conversation?

Is there a conversation that you need to have with someone, but you have been avoiding it?

Does the thought of it make you want to run and hide under the covers?

Does it make your stomach twist and turn into knots?

Rachel spent much of her life avoiding difficult conversations.   But then just a few years ago, she was in business with a dear long-time friend that suddenly fell apart.   She thought her marriage was going well because she and her husband never argued. But then her marriage ended as well. Through the pain of these losses, she realized the common thread was that she had been avoiding the important conversations that were vital to healthy relationships.  

Now that she realized the importance of addressing problems as they arose, she became determined to master those difficult conversations.   As a psychotherapist, she knew how much this skill would help her clients, and she sought out self-help books and as much expertise as she could find on the subject.

 She came up with three secrets to having difficult conversations:

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The Best Gift You Can Give Your Valentine

Would you like a deeper and more connected relationship with your Valentine?

Is your marriage feeling old and stale?

Is it feeling like this?

Valentines day is a perfect time to rekindle your relationship!

No, I’m not peddling sexy underwear, a romantic dinner, or a romantic dinner in sexy underwear!   It’s something that doesn’t have to be found in a store or a fancy restaurant, nor does it require violins or even any money!

What I’m peddling is simple.   Offer your partner a wish.

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How to Deal with Toxic People

Its holiday season!   The season of parties and food, and fun and laughter, and sometimes people who we have to see, but would rather not.

So what do we do if we can’t avoid those people that drive us slightly batty?

Below are 5 things we can do to keep our sanity when we encounter a toxic person:

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Why You Might Want to Stay Away from Prince Charming

Prince Charming, First Impressions:

A few years ago, I met a man who was extremely charming, who seemed to have a rich, fascinating and varied life, who seemed smart, talented and accomplished, and who I felt an amazing connection to.

Our relationship felt mutual at the beginning, but it didn’t take long for me to feel like:

Something Wasn’t Right

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