One Mindset Shift that Could Change the World

Growing up, my parents valued hard work over everything else.   One of my father’s favorite sayings was, “I don’t believe in having too much fun”.   Having play dates was not encouraged or often allowed!

Therefore, I didn’t have a lot of practice making friends or developing healthy relationships.   Without good modeling for what healthy relationships looked like, I had to figure things out the hard way, through a tons of trial and error.  I suffered for decades, feeling like I was all alone and incapable of being loved!

That was why I was thrilled to learn
about the Smart Couple podcast by Jayson Gaddis. Its purpose is to give couples the tools they need to have win-win relationships. As a single person, it helped me figure out what I needed to do to have healthy relationships, and what I would need from a future partner.   But another key benefit is that what he shares can be applied to improving all of our relationships with friends, family, people we work with, and even ourselves!

I took a class with him to dive more deeply into the material, and got a lot out of it. But if I were asked to give you the most valuable tip I learned, this mindset shift would be it.   I feel so strongly about this analogy, that I believe if it were spread far and wide, it could change the world.

What is this valuable mindset shift?

Attend to your relationship garden

Jayson Gaddis says that we need to think of our relationships as a separate entity, like a garden.   This garden can be for any relationship unit, like a couple, a family, a school or business community or even an entire nation.

Think of us all attached to these various relationship gardens, and what each member puts in, affects what we get out of it.

If we put stress into the garden by being critical or neglectful, dishonest, or unkind, we are all eating from that garden.   Because what we eat from this garden impacts our stress levels, an unhealthy garden can make it extremely hard to be productive, happy and healthy.   Similarly if we put love, compassion, support, and share fun and humor, a healthy relationship garden will help us thrive.

With a garden, we have to water and feed it regularly. Think of this as what each person contributes to the relationship unit.   Similarly we have to weed it as well. What are you willing to put up with in the relationship? What needs to be addressed to make everyone happy?   Maybe everyone has to do a little weeding (or behavior change) to make the garden bare fruit. While it isn’t always easy, each healthy and rewarding relationship unit provides the support system we need to magnify our ability to contribute positively to the greater good!

What relationship gardens do you have? Do you water, feed and weed your relationship garden regularly?

To learn more about how to have healthy relationships, check out Jayson Gaddis’s Smart Couple Podcast.

Do you struggle with tending to your relationship garden(s)?

I will be talking about subconscious barriers to
healthy relationships and how to get the support you long for in the upcoming Telesummit Rebound With Resilience that begins May 22nd, 2017.

Sign up here to register:

If you are struggling with implementing what you’ve learned, and you are sick and tired of eating from lack luster or worse, unhealthy relationship gardens, releasing subconscious barriers can make it much easier to shift your mindset to attract healthy relationships.  We can easily change unhealthy patterns and develop new ones, by clearing the emotions and beliefs that drive our patterns.

How?   Check out how I can help at LifeLong EnerJoy and contact me to schedule your complimentary consultation.