How to Love

Learning to love again is a process. But one that can be successfully completed. There are Nine major steps we can take to learn to love again.  What you will need will depend on your history and how far along you are in your recovery.  The program will be custom tailored to your unique needs.


Step 1:  Release Trauma from Past Relationships

If you are struggling with love, then you’ve probably felt abused or abandoned in your past.   Either abuse or abandonment can have tragic consequences for how we feel about ourselves, and our ability to trust others.  They way others have treated us can result in depression, and make us want to isolate ourselves and give up on people and relationships.

I’ve seen profound changes in clients when I’ve released the trauma from past relationships.  They feel lighter, and are able to smile more.   Depression can be reduced or eliminated and they are able to have more fun!  It is an important first step to connecting with people again!


Step 2:   Learn to Love Yourself

I learned this the hard way.  If you love your partner more than yourself, he/she will leave.  You have to love yourself and not be willing to tolerate abuse or bad behavior.  Not sure if you love yourself enough?  Check out my 17 Questions to determine if you truly love yourself.

Step 3: Identify and Release Patterns

negative patterns

The next step is identifying the patterns we keep bumping into in relationships. What unpleasant behaviors from others do you keep attracting? This will help us identify core needs that were not met in our early childhood.

Working with the subconscious mind, we can identify those needs together and then release barriers to having those needs met!

For example, based on my previous relationships, I used to believe that I couldn’t be loved. However, now I’m able to feel the love from friends – the same friends who I couldn’t feel the love from in the past. Furthermore, my brain looks for a proof that I’m loved by God and Divine! Instead of using my bad days to confirm that I am unlovable, I allow every little gift from God to be proof that I am loved. Just last week, I posted on social media, that Trader Joe’s new giant chocolate chip cookie is proof that it loves me!


Step 4: Identify and Release Negative Beliefs

If we are struggling with love, we need to examine our views of ourselves, our views of the people we attract, the people we are surrounded by, people in general (or groups of people), our environment, the Universe and the Divine.

What we think we becomeWhy is this important? Because we manifest what we believe in. If we don’t believe we are lovable, we won’t attract love. If we don’t believe that people are safe or kind, we will attract people that confirm our point of view. Moreover, if we don’t believe that the Universe or Divine will provide, it won’t. Finally, if we don’t believe that people or the universe are safe or trustworthy, we’ll look for evidence to support our beliefs.

It is the essence of Quantum Physics. We attract what we vibrate.

By asking questions of your subconscious mind, I will help you identify and release the feelings and beliefs that are getting in the way of believing you can have the love you want.


Step 5:  Establish Clear Boundaries

Brene Brown says that the most compassionate people are the most boundaried.  I used to allow people to be abusive and push me around.  Because I didn’t stand up for myself, I began to feel I deserved to be treated that way.  This resulted in decades of self loathing.  When you can stand up for yourself, you no longer need to run away from people.


Step 6: Get in Alignment with Giving and Receiving Love

Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, we wonder why it is so easy for others to have loving relationships, while it is so hard for us. In addition to our belief systems and core needs, we have deeper barriers that exist on an energetic level.

Many of these barriers were initially formed by our ancestors, and were further shaped by our own experiences. These barriers, which include the heart wall, can affect our ability to open our hearts, to feel passion, or to be in harmony with others or the Universe.

heart wallUsing the Emotion Code, the Body Code and Resonating Relationships, we identify and release barriers from your personal past and your inherited past to be in harmony with loving relationships on an energetic level.

Step 7:  Learn who is safe to love

There are personality types that are not safe to be in relationships with.   Learn about what to look for, and who to stay clear of.

Step 8:  Release Triggers

Are there certain things people do that annoy or frustrate you?  If you tend to overreact to certain things people do, we can release triggers so that you can be calm enough to express your needs.

Step 9: Learn the Keys to Healthy Relationships

Once we release our negative beliefs, identify and release our core needs and our unconscious barriers, our relationships will automatically become healthier and happier. Additionally, it will be easier to attract healthy relationships into our lives, and we will no longer be interested in unsatisfying ones.

key to healthy relationshipsIf we know the key steps of how to have a healthy relationship as well as the emotional capacity to exercise what we’ve learned, then we should have everything we need to attract the kind of love we want.


To summarize, in our Learn to Love Program we can:

  1. Release trauma from past relationships
  2. Help you love yourself
  3. Identify and release repeating patterns
  4. Align your beliefs with loving relationships 
  5. Establish clear boundaries
  6. Get in alignment with giving and receiving love
  7. Learn who is safe to love
  8. Release triggers
  9. Learn how to have a healthy relationship and how to get your needs met

Are you ready to learn to love again?  I know for myself that I had to do work that was far deeper than affirmations or focusing on the positive.  I couldn’t change my beliefs with affirmations, because I felt like I was being asked to force myself to ignore my pain and  my inherited truth.

couple in love

That is why working on the subconscious level, getting at the drivers of our truths from past generations is so powerful.  If you have been struggling with love all your life, or even going through a crisis because of recent relationships, contact me here for your complementary consultation. Let’s get you learning to love again. Because regardless of how you have been treated in the past, you are worthy of the love you want.

“When I came to Dr. Tina I had issues with my brother/family as well as my boyfriend.

I was carrying a lot of pain and resentment towards my brother for something he had done to me around 5 years ago that really hurt. Even though in person we had made up, I still felt estranged from him and my family.

My first session with Tina I was tearing up just telling her about what happened between us. She did her work and  my feelings of hurt, pain, and resentment were instantly gone!

I had been carrying around this pain for the last 5 years wanting so much to forgive him, but nothing had helped. I talked about my feelings to my brother. I did meditation/self-healing, saw counselors, psychics and other energy healers, but the issues always stayed in the back of my mind. In 1 session with Tina they were gone and have not come back since.

I have never had a good long term relationship. I’ve only had 2. The first was a long abusive marriage and the second is my present boyfriend of almost 2yrs.

I thought my relationship was pretty good before my work with Tina, but I was holding on to some anger over something that happened early on in our relationship. We had supposedly made up, but I’d keep bringing the past up every once in a while and getting angry all over again or I’d say mean things to him and start fights over stupid things.

After working with Dr. Tina my relationship is so different. We rarely ever fight and I don’t bring up the past anymore. When he does something now that used to upset me, I don’t get angry, instead I’m incredibly patient with him and try to understand his feelings better. I’m so much more calm and happy. He’s noticed the changes in me as well. I’m very grateful for the work Dr. Tina has done, it’s pretty miraculous. It works when nothing else will.”

–Betsy, Lynnwood, WA

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