The Internal Workings of a Depressed vs. Healthy Mind

The Internal Workings of a Depressed vs. Healthy Mind

I find that many people who are depressed don’t know they are depressed, and can’t imagine how good life can be.  As a person that has been depressed most of my life, thanks to EFT, the Emotion Code and the Body Code, I now finally know what it feels like to be mentally healthy.   I thought it might be useful to both people who suffer with depression and those who’ve never experienced it, to know more about what it feels like to be on the other side.

When we are depressed, we tend to see things through a negative filter, but when we are happy, we have our positive filter on.  The consequences to our behavior and experiences can be huge.   Check out some of the scenarios below, and feel free to add any in the comments below!


Scenario:  A friend didn’t respond to an email.

Negative filter (depressed mind): 

Thoughts: “What did I do to make them run away?”  “What’s wrong with me?”  “Why do I have such a hard time making friends?”

Feelings:  depression, despair, abandonment, betrayal

Positive filter (healthy mind): 

Thoughts:  “That person must be busy – I can relate”.  “Maybe they forgot, I’ll send them a reminder”.

Feelings:  indifferent


Scenario:  Someone who doesn’t know me says, “You know what your problem is….”

Negative filter 

Thoughts: “ Why does she feel that way about me?”  What about me gives that impression?  Does everyone feel that way?  Is she right?

Feelings:  despair, depression, anger, frustration, shame

Positive filter 

Thoughts: “Wow, this person is really quick to judge and didn’t take the time to listen to me.   I’m guessing she isn’t a good listener, and can’t give constructive feedback, so I’ll limit my interactions with her in the future.

Feelings:   A little frustration and sadness that some people are not able to be supportive.. but I move on quickly to seek support elsewhere.


Scenario:   When with a group of people at a party:

Negative filter

Thoughts:  I can’t relate, I don’t fit in.  What do I say to fit in or make them like me.  I’m not in the mood, I can’t relax…. I feel so lonely.

Behavior:  More likely to eat, sit alone and/or leave early.

Feelings:  Despair, loneliness, shame, insecurity

Positive filter  

Thoughts:  in response to a group I can’t relate to, “ok, I’m bored, how can I excuse myself politely?”.

Behavior:  If a group of  people are talking about something I have no interest in, I excuse myself for food or drink, and find another group, or just 1 person to talk to until I find a person/group I can connect with.  It usually doesn’t take long because instead of worrying about impressing others, I’m asking them to tell me about themselves.

Feelings:  Great!  Connected, confident, attractive and fun!


Feelings about self:

Self appearance:

Negative filter: 

Thoughts:  “I’m so fat”  “ My youth is gone”.  “How can anyone ever love me?”  “I just want to hide”  “There’s no point in exercising/eating well, etc”.  It doesn’t matter what I do.

Behaviors:  Dress in clothes that will not get me noticed.  I often am not conscious of how I look.

Feelings:  Despair, shame, grief, helplessness

Positive filter 

Thoughts:  “I’m sexy, beautiful and attractive, desirable and lovable”.  “Why wouldn’t anyone like me?”

Behaviors:  I enjoy taking care of myself by eating well, exercising, dressing in clothes & wearing makeup that make me look good.   I care about my appearance.

Feelings:  Confidence, content, attractive, desirable


General feelings about self:

Negative filter

Thoughts, “I’m unworthy & unlovable”  I could never live up to him/her.   I’m not good enough.  “I just want to hide”.  I’m a failure.

Feelings:  feel sorry for self, shame, unworthiness, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, low-self esteem, grief

Positive filter

Thoughts:  “I’m cute, funny, fun, smart and unique”  If _____ doesn’t see that or take the time to discover that, then too bad for them.

Feelings:  Confidence, happy, content, optimistic


Feelings towards self when can’t figure something out:

Negative filter 

Thoughts:  “I’m so stupid”, “I should be able to figure this out”, “I have to do this all myself”, “There’s noone to help me”, “I’m all alone”

Feelings:  Tons of frustration, peeved, despair, shame, vulnerability, disappointment in self

Positive filter

Thoughts:  “Take a break, it will come” or “You can ask ______”,  How am I going to meet this challenge?  “How am I going to get the support I need?”

Feelings:  There aren’t many.. but I notice when I’m not fighting and struggling as much, ideas tend to flow, and problems are more likely to get solved, and there is pleasure and satisfaction in moving forward.


General attitude towards life:

General feelings about my past:

Negative filter  

Thoughts:  “life keeping sh__ing on me”.   “Why do these things keep happening to me?”  “Will I ever be able to get out of this rut?”

Feelings: overwhelm, despair, discouragement, depression, anger, resentment, bitterness

Positive filter:

Thoughts:  “I’ve been though a lot.  This was my journey so that I can more effectively support others through theirs”.

Feelings:   acceptance


General feelings about future:

Negative filter: 

Thoughts:  Will anyone ever be able to love me?  Am I capable of a healthy and loving relationship?  What’s the point?  Nothing is going to go my way.  Its not worth trying.  Trying will only lead to more disappointment.  I can’t take anymore disappointment.  Why would anyone want to hire me?  Nothing I do matters.

 Feelings: despair, hopelessness, helplessness, failure, pessimism, bitterness, frustration

Positive filter

Thoughts:  What I do matters.  People need me, and I have something valuable to contribute.  I’m worthy of love, and love will find me. I have what it takes to get what I want, and my life will improve bit by bit as long as I keep pushing forward!

Feelings: Hope, enthusiasm, excitement!


The good news is that the thought patterns and feelings of depression can be changed to that of a healthy person using EFT, the Emotion Code and the Body Code.  Releasing the negativity that gets stored in our bodies allows the positive thinking to occur more authentically, and naturally.  Are you ready to experience hope, optimism, joy and confidence about yourself and your future?  Listen to my interview, Releasing Subconscious Barriers: The Key to Health and Happiness and Call me to schedule a complimentary consultation!

Do you have a friend or family member that doesn’t understand depression?  Share this with them!

Can you relate?   Would you like to add to this post?  Please enter your comments below!



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