Relationships and the Holidays

Holidays can be difficult times for people who are single or have difficult relationships with their families.   Below are some tips for getting through the tough times:

1.)  Difficult relationships

If you find being with family more stressful than being alone, but you still need to spend time with them, remember to give yourself the time you need to calm down your nervous system.  You might want to find a way to go for a hike, take a yoga or exercise class, stay in a hotel or shorten your trip.  If you find yourself living by the demands of others, give yourself the gift of taking care of your own needs first this season.  It will allow you to be more present and more balanced when you are with your relatives, and it will make the season more fun for you!

When you are with your relatives, if you find yourself easily triggered by something that they tend to do or say, just remember that they, like you, are doing the best they can.  We often aren’t aware of how our actions impact others, and so while their behavior may seem obviously crazy or upsetting to you, it isn’t obvious to them.  The best way to approach negative behavior is with compassion and the desire for mutual understanding.  Often if the relationship has been charged for years, it can be very difficult to turn things around until you’ve given yourself the chance to heal.

2.) Feeling isolated

Because of all the expectations put on us by society about what the holidays are all about, those of us from broken families can end up feeling pretty isolated at this time of year.   If you are feeling that way, one thing that can help is to remember, you are not alone.    In America, we value work and individualism more highly than families, and leaves plenty of us feeling the same way.  So if you in that boat, it’s a great opportunity to get out those oars and try to find others who are also hanging out on their islands for the holidays.   Try to find something you enjoy, and develop a new tradition if you need to.

We can all feel lonely at times, but you don’t have to stay stuck in that rut!

If you find it too hard to reach out to others over the holidays, or if you want more peace with your family relationships,  then listen to my interview with Frances on Releasing Subconscious Barriers, and call me at 1855 ENERJOY to schedule your free 1 hr consultation.