For most of my life, I ran away from opportunities because I lived in fear. I had no courage to change. When I was a child, I wanted to be an actress. I remember one of my earliest performance experiences. I was playing a young Chinese little sister who had to bring out a Chinese dust broom to the girl playing my mother. When my teacher cued me out on stage, I handed the broom to ‘my mother’, and we dropped it. We picked it up again, and in my nervousness, we dropped it again. By then the audience was laughing, and I couldn’t get off that stage fast enough!
I remember in high school, my school put on really fun musicals that I would have loved to be a part of. By then I was playing the French horn, and I felt safer in the theater orchestra with people I knew. I was afraid to be associated with the acting crowd and so resisted, even though acting and dancing seemed like so much fun!
In college, there were opportunities to live abroad. I would have loved to travel, and explore other cultures, but I passed those up because my experience living in Hong Kong as a child was so traumatic for me.
I’ve missed out on so much that would have made my life more fun and more meaningful. But thank goodness, I now have tools to release my fears!
Since I’ve started my journey using EFT, the Emotion Code and the Body Code, I’ve been releasing the subconscious barriers that have held me back in so many areas of my life. I’ve noticed that one of the key things I have had to release to allow change to happen (for both myself and clients) is addictive thought patterns.
Courage to Change: Where to start?
Why do we get stuck in addictive thought patterns? I believe it is from fear. If our early attempts at stretching ourselves are met with ridicule, shame or embarrassment, we can become addicted to what is safe. If when growing up, we have a strong basis of support, we usually have positive associations with change, and it becomes easier to embrace it. These days I am surrounded by successful people, and I’ve noticed that a hallmark of their success is their ability to learn from their setbacks and quickly adapt.
So in helping people embrace change for growth, here are 3 tips I’ve discovered that can help you grow and adapt to change:
1.) Surround yourself with support
For so much of my life, my parents, teachers and bosses didn’t seem to believe in me. But I noticed on those occasions when I had the support and someone to believe in me, I made the most progress. Recently, President Obama was interviewed and asked to bring things from his house that were most meaningful to him. He talks about how having the support of a variety of people is what keeps him going when he has his doubts.
Correspondingly, we cannot just rely on others for that support. If we berate ourselves, or judge ourselves too harshly when we fail, it will be harder to find the courage to try something new.
One simple, but powerful thing you can do, is to redefine the word “FAIL” to First Attempt In Learning.
2.) Strengthen your willpower
To change, you have to be willing to let go of old habits, and push yourself to new ones. Releasing subconscious patterns that drive addictive thinking is a great way to have more control over your behavior. Meditation also helps you have more moment-to-moment control. If you don’t meditate and would like to start, I recommend trying Meditations for Busy People by Bodhipaska.
3.) Believe in yourself and your Courage to Change
I believe this is the most important driver of change. If you don’t believe you can heal, you won’t spend the energy looking for what you need to do so. If you don’t believe you can succeed, you won’t have the drive you need to reach your goals. This belief is so powerful that when Carol Dweck taught children from disadvantaged groups that they could improve, their test scores and performance in school went from the bottom to the top of their districts! Read more about that here.
Are you resisting change? Are you moving too slowly towards reaching your goals? I regularly help clients release subconscious barriers that get in the way of their success. If you’d like to learn more about that, check out my interview, “Releasing Subconscious Barriers, the Key to Health and Happiness”, and contact me for a complimentary consultation.
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