What Makes Men Violent?

When I heard about the last mass shooting in Vegas, I felt physically ill.  If the shooter was a Muslim or anything other than White, the media and politicians would label him as a terrorist.

If the shooter is White, they say that he has mental health issues.

But what has been the common denominator in 88 out of the last 91 shootings?  It is that the shooter is a male.

While most men are not violent, most of the violence is committed by men.   In fact, 90% of homicides are by men.   And it is time that we as a country start to address the underlying causes before more lives are lost!

So what makes men violent?

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Seven Underlying Causes of Racism

Many of us are disturbed by the increase of racial tensions that seems to be permeating the news these days. What I find especially upsetting is that this racial divide, especially between Blacks and Whites has not seemed to improve in many parts of the country for centuries.

I think it’s time that we envision an America where we can see beyond race.

I want to live in a country where we value each other’s cultures and experiences, where we try to forgive both ourselves and each other for past wrongs, and where we can recognize our privileges, and support those who don’t have the same opportunities.

But to first stop racism, we first have to understand what causes it in the first place.

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The Dangers of Avoiding Conflict

I grew up in a home where I was regularly yelled at for doing things like leaving lights on, for eating too much, or wanting too much. I was told that it was my job not to make my father angry, and so I felt like I was constantly stressed, and feeling like I was walking on egg-shells around the house.   I was taught that we had to respect and obey our elders, and the idea of standing up for myself was completely foreign to me.   Since I didn’t believe I would be able to avoid his anger, I tried to not have feelings and needs.   This set me up for a lifelong pattern of isolating when I was unhappy, and trying to deal with it on my own.

The problem with this model, is

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How to Deal with Toxic People

Its holiday season!   The season of parties and food, and fun and laughter, and sometimes people who we have to see, but would rather not.

So what do we do if we can’t avoid those people that drive us slightly batty?

Below are 5 things we can do to keep our sanity when we encounter a toxic person:

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What to do When a Debate Gets Toxic

I admit that I can be very opinionated. I’m passionate about social justice, about treating people, animals and our mother earth compassionately, and I’m not a fan of policies that favor profit over our collective welfare. And my opinions, which I’m not afraid to share, frequently attract others who wish to “debate”.   I say this in quotation marks because I believe we’ve lost understanding of the meaning of debate in this country.   When I was young, I don’t remember politics being this vitriolic. I don’t remember people calling each other names or making personal insults to the degree that we do these days. I say this in quotations because I believe that as soon as the personal attacks begin, the person (or persons) who choose to engage in them are no longer debating. They are arguing.

And why is this distinction important?  

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What it feels like to release a trapped emotion

This morning I woke up with something on my mind.  I can’t share the details, but lets just say I was rather unhappy about a recent event, and I was defiantly plotting as to how I’d respond.  Luckily I now know that when my mind is not at peace, that it’s not healthy for my mind or body, and there’s something I can do about it.  So using the Emotion Code,  I asked my subconscious if I had any trapped emotions that were contributing to my feelings about this recent event.   The answer was “yes”.  In fact the answer is almost always “yes!   Why?  Because our past experiences have a profound effect on our reactions to current events.

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