Is it Really “Common Sense”?

Is it Really “Common Sense”?

When I hear the phrase “It’s just common sense”, I cringe.

Why?   Because our version of “common sense” is based on our environment and past experiences.   What might be common sense to an American, can be very different than what is considered common sense to someone born in a different culture.

Case in point:

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Seven Reasons Why Travel is Good For Your Brain

Seven Reasons Why Travel is Good For Your Brain

Are you feeling too tied down by work to get away for that badly needed vacation?

It turns out, you are not alone. The average American only takes half of their vacation time, and we have less vacation time than any other developed country!

Many of us feel too guilty for taking time off. We don’t want to perceived as that employee that doesn’t take their work seriously.   We struggle to let go of our never ending to do list.

But taking time off is good for our brains.   So if you need a good excuse to take that vacation, you can tell your boss all the reasons why it will help you work smarter and harder:

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Improve all your Relationships with this Simple Mindset Shift

Improve all your Relationships with this Simple Mindset Shift

Growing up, my parents valued hard work over everything else.   One of my father’s favorite sayings was, “I don’t believe in having too much fun”.   Having play dates was not encouraged or often allowed!

Therefore, I didn’t have a lot of practice making friends or developing healthy relationships.   Without good modeling for what healthy relationships looked like, I had to figure things out the hard way, through a tons of trial and error.  I suffered for decades, feeling like I was all alone and incapable of being loved!

That was why I was thrilled to learn
about the Smart Couple podcast by Jayson Gaddis. Its purpose is to give couples the tools they need to have win-win relationships. As a single person, it helped me figure out what I needed to do to have healthy relationships, and what I would need from a future partner.   But another key benefit is that what he shares can be applied to improving all of our relationships with friends, family, people we work with, and even ourselves!

I took a class with him to dive more deeply into the material, and got a lot out of it. But if I were asked to give you the most valuable tip I learned, this mindset shift would be it.   I feel so strongly about this analogy, that I believe if it were spread far and wide, it could change the world.

What is this valuable mindset shift?

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Why we might thrive or just survive

Why we might thrive or just survive

Do you feel blocked from achieving your dreams?

Are there specific things that you would love to be able to do, but it just feels too risky?

Some people are always doing something new. They push themselves to grow whether it’s with work, with hobbies, or personal development. Others live more stagnant lives. They may stay in the same jobs, stay in relationships that aren’t working, and never live the life they had hoped to live.

Our mindset is crucial to our potential for success.   People who dare to challenge themselves to try new things have the growth mindset. I’ve written more about the fixed vs. growth mindset in my article The Power of Believing You Can Improve. But what orients a person towards a growth mindset, more than another?

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Why Our Responses To Abuse Vary

Why Our Responses To Abuse Vary

You’ve seen it before.   A man makes a comment that can be interpreted as insensitive or abusive depending on the listener, and every so often you hear a woman that rails into him, to just let him know how inappropriate he was. Seeing this is often shocking to those of us who are used to quietly taking it, wondering what we’ve done to justify his abuse.

Our responses to abuse can vary tremendously depending many factors.

A healthy response is one where we have a clear sense of when we, or others are being inappropriate. We know what we are willing to tolerate, and we don’t allow others to treat us badly.   We can assert our right to be treated well without being abusive to those we feel are mistreating us.

An unhealthy response can take many forms.

Maybe we walk away and take it personally, and start to wonder if the abuser’s accusation are true.

Maybe we don’t anything to the abuser, and start asking ourselves, our friends or even God whether we had brought this abuse upon ourselves.

Maybe we lash out and become just as abusive towards the abuser.

Maybe we hold on to the belief that the abuser deliberately meant to hurt us, when the truth is far more complicated.

Maybe we refuse to see our role in the abuse.

With some people and some situations, we might respond well, whereas with others we may lose our cool.

So what are the factors that determine how we respond?

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