Five Mindset Shifts To Go With The Flow

Five Mindset Shifts To Go With The Flow

I was taught early in life that hard work was the key to success. If we didn’t get a perfect report card, we were told that it was because we weren’t working hard enough. Because I had a learning disability and didn’t get the support I needed, I learned that I’d have to struggle to get what I wanted.

So that set me on the early course of constantly striving to be better, subconsciously hoping that I could some day gain the acceptance I so desperately craved.

While I now work hard for other reasons, I still find that the harder I push myself, the less tolerant I become when things don’t go my way.

So people who are ambitious and work hard, but are also to go with the flow really Peter and Ireneimpress me.   My friend Peter Feysa is a great example of this.   We took a badly needed break and went hiking and swimming in the alpine lakes.   Every time he set out to swim, my friend’s dog Irene felt the need to herd him in.  He took it well, and even seemed to be enjoying it, even though she would circle him and  get in the way.   After several laps, I noticed he had scratches all over his back from Irene, but he never mentioned it until I brought it up.   When I did, he shrugged them off!  I know I wouldn’t have taken it that well!

So how do people like Peter balance the stress and still so gracefully handle all the bumps along the way?

Here are some mindset shifts that help such people go with the flow:

  1. When a tree had fallen and blocked a remote road in Washington, we cooperated to find a solution to let the traffic flow again!

    When a tree had fallen and blocked a remote road in Washington, people cooperated to find a solution to let the traffic flow again!

     It is all an adventure.

When I’m on vacation, I’ve noticed that my expectations are completely different.   I don’t expect everything to work, and therefore, I treat the good and the bad as all a part of an adventure.   I’ve noticed that some of my most interesting travel stories happen when things don’t go as planned, so I use it as an excuse to build up my story collection. I find it helpful to apply this thinking to my entire life as well.

2.  Keep an eye on the big picture.

Try to step back and see the big picture. Will this matter when you look back on your life?   It maybe a minor setback, but will it really matter in the long run?   Life is full of ups and downs.   It is not reasonable to expect life to be perfect.   How we respond to it is what matters.   A regular meditation practice can help develop equanimity and keeping our eye on the big picture.

3.  Everyone is doing the best that they can

One thing that has helped me be more tolerant and accepting of others, is when I heard Gary Craig (who is known for creating Emotional Freedom Technique) say that he believes, “Everyone is doing the best they can”.   Even when people are being cruel or selfish, they are being that way because they are acting out of their own limitations and unmet needs.   Their behavior has little to do with their target, and everything to do with their past.   In other words, it is not personal.     While we can and should help them raise awareness of how their behavior impacts us, there is no need to take things personally if we know it has nothing to do with us.

Thats so just perfect4.  Everything is perfect as is.

When I asked my friend Peter Feysa how he is able to go with the flow, he said that he follows the Buddhist philosophy that when we let the little stuff get to us, we are arguing with reality.   The world is perfect as is, but it might not be how we envision it.   By fighting it, we are making ourselves suffer.

5. View it as an opportunity for growth

When things don’t go our way, there might be a lesson we can learn from the experience.   Is there a way to avoid this problem in the future?  Or is this a good opportunity to practice acceptance?

Did you find these mindset shifts helpful?  Please click the buttons below to share with your friends!  

If you find that you are triggered by particular patterns in your life that cause stress, releasing subconscious barriers can help!  Listen to my interview Releasing Subconscious Barriers, the Key to Health and Happiness and call me at 1855 ENERJOY to schedule your complimentary consultation.


That’s Just So Perfect” is courtesy of stockimages at
Pretty Girl Practicing Meditation Smilingly” is courtesy of stockimages at

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